It's 5:00 am and I'm waiting for your reply

I feel like my head is going to burst from all the tug of war thoughts that come in and out of my head.
I listen to my friends, for a minute or two, I follow what they think is best for me and then you come, you flash that smile and for a second, I forget everything else that I told myself I should do.

What is this feeling? take it away. Then I take my words back because when you are in that feeling, it's something that you just want to stay in for as long as it would last.. ohoh I have been nothing but a disappointment to myself. Now, I understand better the deeper meaning of taking one step forward yet it feels like taking two steps backward. Damn!

Then you try to take that step sideways and it pulls you back again like your all steel and he's magneto.

But what scares me even more? Is the more that I am with you, the more that I feel like I am no longer myself. That self that I've build years just so that no one like you could make me feel this way.


Disclaimer: This isn't an emo note, I'm not heartbroken or anything. I'm just listening to a song and got inspired to write this note. Although this one is close to the heart haha